Achacha! You are still so much alive!!

Jan 29^th 1988, the first time in my life.. I realized the pain of losing someone. Someone so dear to me.. it was hard for the child in me to accept the fact that I wouldn’t see him anymore.. I wouldn’t be sleeping besides him anymore… and he’s never ever gonna put me to sleep …

My grandfather was the person I loved the most as a child. I used to begin my days with the sight of his pleasant face… with a smile which made me feel I was the BEST girl in the world… and I would end my days sleeping besides him .. hugging him tight as his sweet lullaby’s swept me into deep slumber.

He was my favorite and I was his. We were so fond of each other that nothing else or rather no one else mattered to us at all. He used to feed me, bathe me, dress me…. And he was the only one who always said I was a nice girl J

22 years back, on this dreadful day I lost the most valuable person in my life. As usual he had put me to sleep.. but something in me wouldn’t let me sleep that night.. I still remember those last few moments I spent with him, cuz I never let myself forget those priceless moments which would never come back.  It was rather unusual for me to not fall asleep that day… he tried to sing and put me to sleep but.. Somehow I was not sleepy that night.. Finally he put me on his shoulders and walked across the room… singing his all time favorite song.”Aaraaro.. areeraaeee achachante mole vaavaave.. Achachane nee thenalle.. aayiravalli povalle” and after a lot of struggle I managed to fall asleep.

It must have been the early hours of 29^th when I woke up. I felt very uneasy... so unlike the usual days... everything seemed strange from the previous night. To my grandma’s surprise I woke up and went and lied down by her side.. I’ve never done that till that day… I still couldn’t sleep.. and I was strangely feeling afraid of something.. Something was wrong or scary but I didn’t know what.. so I told her I would like to go n sleep with Amma, again a very unusual request from me who always preferred to be with Achacha.. even if Amma wants me to be with her…

She took me upstairs and I lied down besides mom as she came down to sleep.. Within a few minutes.. I heard my Maama shout “Kunnechi.. Achchan!!!” My Mom jumped out of the bed calling out for her dear father as she came down the stairs.. I ran behind onfused….

My Maama had rushed for a doctor as my mom sat numb besides her father and my Granny… as the doctor came he asked us to move out of the room and once he was out.. he broke the news that my dear dear Grandpa passed away in his sleep 15 minutes back.

Being a 6 year old kid.. I didn’t really understand what he said… but I knew something was wrong  as I looked at him.. lying still.. not moving … MY Granny broke into sobs and my sister followed suite.. I too started crying.. cuz I  didn’t know what to do then… by evening our house was full of people.. relatives wailing.. mom as still as a statue with a lost expression in her face… and someone told me I wouldn’t see him anymore… she said I should go and take his blessings before he leaves..  I started crying when I heard he wouldn’t come back.. and she said its just that you won’t be seeing him anymore.. but he will always be around when you need him.

Oh yes she was right!! Ever since that day I never saw him physically.. but I always see him in my mind. Each time I think of him. I still see him and look out for him when am in trouble. For quite a few years he was my God! I used to pray to him while the rest of my cousins pray to the God! I still think of him when am confused about life. I just need to think of him and I would get the right answer to al my questions.. You might term it as hallucination.. but for me..  he has always helped me in taking all the right decisions in my life…. He has always stopped me from doing the wrong things.. and he still remains very much alive deep down my heart.  Its been 22 years since I ‘ve seen him.. but his face is still fresh in my mind each time I think of him… its just that I can’t really see him…. But I know he’s still there somewhere… and always will be there.. for me 

The Spark in my eyes

Being myself is something which I've missed over the past few years. Life in the corporate world has played its part in tranforming myself into a new me.. Someone whom I don't recognize anymore. Every night as I wish myself good night.. though I get a sweet smile in return..I see something missing....and  I saw that special something right now.. right here ... and I wish and hope I could keep it with me.. forever like before...

Thank You Sree and Shalu!! the 2 of the most blessed gifts God ever gifted me with! A few hours is all that I got.. but it was worth it all.. thats all it took to bring back the sparkle in my eyes. I must say..  I need to meet you guys more often than before... cuz its very much needed to get me back to myself.. to get back the sparkle in my eyes :) Love you always!!!

A little attitude

I must say at times I end up showing a little attitude to the wrong person.Here's a small description of one such small incident :-)


Who ever's been in hyd would be well aware of the Shared Rickshaw system we have here... the cheapest means of transport in hyd.. As any otherr s/w professionals in Hi tec city.. even I prefer shared Ricks as my means to commute to office.. As usual I was waiting outside Shilpa Park waiting for a shared Rick to pass by. Being the peak hour for the one's of my crowd.. almost every rick that passed  by was full..


Finally after waiting for 5 minutes I saw one rick pass by. I thanked my stars as the rick stopped even before I waved for it. As I walked towards it and asked "Bhaiyya Cyber Towers??" he stared back at me and signalled me to get in. As I jumped in I noticed the other occupant wore a genpact tag and was trying to be friendly. As usual I was full of airs.. huh.. why should I talk to this stranger and I stared outside waiting for my destination to arrive.


As the Rick reached Cyber Towers, I asked the Rickshaw wala to stop, that's when the person besides me started talking
He : "You are heading for Cyber Gateways right?? This rick is headed for the same place you may get down over there"


Me : Oh.. okie... eh.. excuse me but.. I never knew we get shared Ricks which goes all the way to CGW
He : Eh.. well.. actually, I gave my car for repair and took a straight Rick to office.. I saw you on the way and since we were heading for the same place.. I asked the rickshaw wala to stop by.


I was left with no words. Here is someone.. whom I didn't even know (and am sure even he wouldn't be knowing me) who was trying to help me and I was being nasty and showing attitude forget about being nice to him.


Me : Ah.. well.. he stopped and when I asked him CTW.. he said yes.. and I thought it was a shared rick.. really sorry.. I didn't realize that/.. am really sorry didn't mean to offend you or something.. you see the thing is.. I'm such an introvert... (well I had to say that to save my face)


He : hey thats ok.. its absolutely fine..  thought so when you got in and didn't acknowledge :-)
Me : Ah.. by the way I'm Sigma.. nice to meet you
He : Yea I know.. my name is ...... :)


I was all smiles to all the strangers who passed by me in the cafeteria that day. Some would have found it odd. But that was all I could do to make up for being so nasty... earlier that day . cuz am not usually that bad to people.. Ask anyone who works in my floor.. I always give a smile to anyone who passes by. and thats why I said.. at times.. I show wrong attitude to wrong people...

Mummy.....Yummy.....Tummy

Just back from a month long vacation and you can guess how it feels to be on your own when you've spent one whole month with your family. As usual I was lying on my bed and my mind was running images of how it would have been had I not come back. Must've have been playing with my lil niece or pulling a gag at my Sis along with my BIL :) hugging Mamma tight and fall into deep slumber feeling secured and protected....

As my thoughts kept wandering, I realized what I was missing the most. I needn't talk about my Mom's culinery skills to those friends of mine who has been blessed enough to have her food. To the remaining unfortunate one's.. am sorry you are missing some real good food in your life :P . I couldn't help but think about those wonderful delicacies I had...and how I miss them :(

Mom, come to me.. and cook something.. anything... am yearning for it..
The Yummy food which my Mummy makes which is best suited for my ever hungry Tummy  :)

P.S. Mom its not just for the love for your food.. I want you here cuz your presence makes the darkest of my days bright :*