Jan 29th 1988, the first time in my life.. I realized the pain of losing someone. Someone so dear to me.. it was hard for the child in me to accept the fact that I wouldn’t see him anymore.. I wouldn’t be sleeping besides him anymore… and he’s never ever gonna put me to sleep …
My grandfather was the person I loved the most as a child. I used to begin my days with the sight of his pleasant face… with a smile which made me feel I was the BEST girl in the world… and I would end my days sleeping besides him .. hugging him tight as his sweet lullaby’s swept me into deep slumber.
He was my favorite and I was his. We were so fond of each other that nothing else or rather no one else mattered to us at all. He used to feed me, bathe me, dress me…. And he was the only one who always said I was a nice girl J
22 years back, on this dreadful day I lost the most valuable person in my life. As usual he had put me to sleep.. but something in me wouldn’t let me sleep that night.. I still remember those last few moments I spent with him, cuz I never let myself forget those priceless moments which would never come back. It was rather unusual for me to not fall asleep that day… he tried to sing and put me to sleep but.. Somehow I was not sleepy that night.. Finally he put me on his shoulders and walked across the room… singing his all time favorite song.”Aaraaro.. areeraaeee achachante mole vaavaave.. Achachane nee thenalle.. aayiravalli povalle” and after a lot of struggle I managed to fall asleep.
It must have been the early hours of 29th when I woke up. I felt very uneasy... so unlike the usual days... everything seemed strange from the previous night. To my grandma’s surprise I woke up and went and lied down by her side.. I’ve never done that till that day… I still couldn’t sleep.. and I was strangely feeling afraid of something.. Something was wrong or scary but I didn’t know what.. so I told her I would like to go n sleep with Amma, again a very unusual request from me who always preferred to be with Achacha.. even if Amma wants me to be with her…
She took me upstairs and I lied down besides mom as she came down to sleep.. Within a few minutes.. I heard my Maama shout “Kunnechi.. Achchan!!!” My Mom jumped out of the bed calling out for her dear father as she came down the stairs.. I ran behind onfused….
My Maama had rushed for a doctor as my mom sat numb besides her father and my Granny… as the doctor came he asked us to move out of the room and once he was out.. he broke the news that my dear dear Grandpa passed away in his sleep 15 minutes back.
Being a 6 year old kid.. I didn’t really understand what he said… but I knew something was wrong as I looked at him.. lying still.. not moving … MY Granny broke into sobs and my sister followed suite.. I too started crying.. cuz I didn’t know what to do then… by evening our house was full of people.. relatives wailing.. mom as still as a statue with a lost expression in her face… and someone told me I wouldn’t see him anymore… she said I should go and take his blessings before he leaves.. I started crying when I heard he wouldn’t come back.. and she said its just that you won’t be seeing him anymore.. but he will always be around when you need him.
Oh yes she was right!! Ever since that day I never saw him physically.. but I always see him in my mind. Each time I think of him. I still see him and look out for him when am in trouble. For quite a few years he was my God! I used to pray to him while the rest of my cousins pray to the God! I still think of him when am confused about life. I just need to think of him and I would get the right answer to al my questions.. You might term it as hallucination.. but for me.. he has always helped me in taking all the right decisions in my life…. He has always stopped me from doing the wrong things.. and he still remains very much alive deep down my heart. Its been 22 years since I ‘ve seen him.. but his face is still fresh in my mind each time I think of him… its just that I can’t really see him…. But I know he’s still there somewhere… and always will be there.. for me
0 Thought(s):
Post a Comment