Square peg in a round hole

She picked up the triangular peg, and tried to fit it into the round hole.. not working.. she frowns and turns it to another angle, and tries to push it in again.... no luck... another angle.. and still not working...  She looked around and found the remaining pegs, she picked up the square one this time, though it did go a little in, a part of it was still sticking out ... she knew something was wrong.. she tapped and turned and tried... and failed again.. she tried another shape which wouldn't fit in either.. I thought she would give up this time around... she luckily picked up the round one this time... she had that smile of satisfaction as she slid this one into the hole.... as I watched my little niece play this simple game... another thought crossed my mind...

Finding true love is just like above. When we start liking someone, we feel they are the right one for us. We presume that we would fit perfectly into each others lives. As we get closer to that person, we realize a lot of differences, which would lead us to the fact that we in fact do not fit into each others life. Some people give up in life, at the first sign of incompatibility or break up. Others move on and search for the right one, going through the entire ordeal again and maybe sometimes over and over again. 

Some of us, try and fit into the wrong hole, expecting time to fill in the gaping holes in the relationship. Some others expect themselves or their partners to change slowly with time and mold  into the  desired shape. That hardly works most of the time.. and more often, some would prefer to convince themselves that things are fine... Finally there are the kinds, who do not lose hope, and continue to work on their pursuit of love. They succeed in the end, and they do find that one person who would fit in perfectly, into their life.... as a part of their life.

I know a lot of people who ridicule others who keep trying for that perfect person. They mark them as fools, who doesn't seem to learn their lessons despite the pain each break ups inflicts on them. They are  are termed as non-adjusting and considered to be people who hold themselves in high regard. I personally regard such people with high esteem. 

At least they do not get into a relationship expecting themselves or their partner to change over time. I admire their passion for true love.. and their trust in that person whom they have not yet met... I know there is genuine love and trust in other cases as well.... but there is an undefinable feeling that makes my heart flutter when I see such people succeed in their quest for true love... Sigh!!!

Turn around and look back

She turned and looked back... and watched as the distance between them grew... as the vision of his image slowly diminished.. she watched until he was just another spot of dust in the air. 

Not a great sight to see, and you know it hurts, but still you keep doing it. Every time we physically move away from our loved ones, be it your parents, siblings, friends or lover we always tend to turn back and watch them until they are too far to be recognized. It is a human tendency to turn back and look at people, at places and even trace back through the memories and think about times gone by. I've always tried my best to stop myself from doing it.. but each time.. subconsciously I end up doing the same. Its not just me, I have seen a majority of people doing the same act of losing your mind and scanning the distances trying to recognize your loved one's among the moving spots across the distance.

I've often tried to figure out the reason why I or for that matter anybody does that. Was it because of the uncertainty... the fear that this might be the last time you would be seeing each other ?? Well.. quite not, cuz most of the times, I would very well know when I would be meeting the other person.... Is it an act to try and re-live the moments just spent ?? or is it to just see your loved one's to your hearts content?? Well I have absolutely no clue at all.... though...Each time I do that, I have a mixture of emotions churning in my heart, feelings that are completely alien to me at other times, and they do disappear pretty fast, as you turn your attention to other things, like checking out the cute guy sitting across the isle ;-)

Whatever it is,  I still haven't figured out the reason behind this looking back habit of me of many such people like me. Neither have I been able to decipher the assortment of emotions that gushes in as I do that. I try my best but in vain to stop myself from doing that. But time and again I keep repeating it, over and over again.... 

Any thoughts?????

A letter to a smartphone

I so envy you, you flat faced palm-sized twerp. What is it about you that takes away all her attentions on me? I still remember the day she peeped into my soul and dropped those pebbles of love inside, whispering sweet thoughts of love and life and what not. She said I, and our love will be the most important thing in her life from then on.

Ever since you busted your way into our lives things changed. Gone are those days she used to jump around and pull me out just because she was bored and she had nothing else to do. And she doesn't seem to lose her way at all these days; how I used to love it when I used to guide her whenever she lost her way to places! I always loved to be the one to help her when she was in need and it always made me feel so special. And now, YOU seem to be with her everywhere, every time,  helping her with anything and everything, and now I happen to be someone who needn't bother about it.

How I hate to envision you sleeping besides her, sharing the same pillow, feeling her so close that you can actually get the sweet smell of her. Do you know how it hurts when I know you see her undress in front of the mirror?I hate it when she kisses and strokes you, and holds you too close for even air to pass through, on the pretext of kissing her loved ones. I hate it when she laughs at all the silly gimmicks, of your stupid Talking Tomcat. With you around, she seems to be even networking while we watch movies. She is always so into you... she hardly pays me any attention even when I am talking to her, but with you ,she seems to be all ears deepening and confirming my thoughts that I seem to have taken a backseat in her life.

Well I should be the one to be blamed. Had I not introduced you to her, she would still be my sweet girl, pulling me off and hugging me tight, singing out loud, dancing her heart out, calling me up saying 'Am lost :-('. Playing wii games and watching movies. Well darling, enjoy while you can, cuz I will murder you sometime soon, and I'll see to it that I will never ever introduce her to any of your kinds.

Your end is nearing...


So GOOD BYE AND GET LOST!!!

Can't wait

Can't wait to see that cheerful face,

can't wait to hear that chirpy voice

can't wait to to see those anxious eyes

and hold you tight!! until I sigh

Can't wait to feel your curly hair

and mess it up until you mother stares

can't wait to hear your little stories

and all the cute animations that you put in

Can't wait to hold those tiny fingers

or run around the house till we're thrown outside

can't wait to get wet in the rain with you

God am dying out here to just be with you

P.S : Am going home tonight!! will be meeting my lil niece after two long months!!!

        and the pic was taken during her first ever Auto trip.. and man she loved it :-)

Of Stone benches and sweet little nothings

I took a long walk today, a walk back to that stone bench, where we always spoke in silences; and read each other's thoughts on those puffy white clouds across the true blue sky;

Where we always watched the sun go down as we celebrated another day of love!!

The walk was surprisingly longer this time, can't remember walking this far back then. I thought it was closer than this but then, well..it is what it is. I saw a couple down there, on our very own stone bench or so we used to call it ;-)

They sat there in silence, head to head, cheek to cheek, shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. Ah! just like how we used to sit!

I watched them as they spoke in silence, a language only they could understand...I watched them for a long time.... cuz that's was all I could do, I didn't want to disturb them.. and so I went back to my own memories all over again, memories of a good old sweet and innocent love....

They somehow reminded me of us, and the bond we used to share.. of the days I read your mind before you spoke it out.. of how annoyed you would feel, cuz I always managed to do that... of the bubbly talks and bouncy walks... 

I felt like I was slowly being pushed forward by some force...and I was moving closer and closer to those lovely people; I had this strong urge to tell them, to be together always and never let go no matter what.... I didn't know if it was a right thing to say  to unknown strangers. But someone from deep inside of me wanted me to do that... I walked and crossed the bench.. and moved forward so I could be face to face with them... and what I saw left me dumbfounded, there  I saw us... yes you and me, just like we used to be back then... right there in flesh n bones...I turned back... and ran down the road... back to where I came from ...and while I stopped to catch my breath I realized that walk was... but a walk down my memory lane.... 

Lavender Lush

Although Lavender is not the color that comes to my mind when you ask me what my favorite color is, I must admit there is something to it that always delights me. 

I feel like an angel when I wear a lavender dress, although I know it is for others to decide ;-)

When I feel the need to be pampered and on my own, what I look out for is my collection of lavender candles :-) 

Most of my nail paints have a touch of lavender in them. 

When I think of something special for anyone special, they are sure to have a touch of lavender.... 

My favorite wind chime is the lavender one.


I know it might look like I am cheating on blue, but my dear blue you are too perfect for me to get carried away by lavender. We've been together for too long and If I were to leave you, I would've done that long time ago. I am in a beautiful relationship with lavender, a relationship which is beyond friendship and definitely not love. Although I must admit that sometimes I can't stop myself from being engulfed by the lavender lush.

The Picture

It was a sweet little breeze... warm and soothing.. relaxing anything that it touched... it swept in through the open windows.. and gushed inside…the picture frame smiled as it brushed against the glossy shine, caressing the lovely, happy moments in the picture of good times...the moments frozen .. safely wrapped in the protective layer of glass... who swore to protect its precious one from all the worldly destructive forces... The little breeze teased the precious one... tickling it till it swayed... such a happy sight to hold... They played together.. giggling and shouting.. until they saw the storm fast approaching.. and without a hint it knocked the breeze away where to? no one could see...

The glass and the frame shook with fear holding on to their precious one... they shuddered at the sound of its evil howl... but they stood there...firm and strong... like a true knight.. protecting their princess... willing to give up their lives if needed and thus fanning the sparks of anger of the insane storm... it blew harder... spitting stones of curses at the shining knight of glass... although scratched, hurt and bruised.. but brave and unshaken was he... 
The demon in the storm grew stronger and wilder unable to take on the strength or courage....it looked around… for a sign of weakness... somewhere.. anywhere.. and there it saw ...the tiny hook.. holding  on to her dear frame.... with her own life clinging over the small iron nail... with a roar of joy, the wind pulled hard at the only point of weakness... shaking it violently... until it gave up with a whimper... as it let go of its dear dear frame...

Clink! down came our picture frame with so loud a clatter.. that shook the entire world around it..rains of shattered glass flew around ... hurting the receding storm.. who went away victorious..leaving a gloomy air of silence behind... and there lied the picture... a hurting picture of happiness... overlooking  the still frame that lay besides...with the only remains of its protector lying over it.. as a symbol of its last attempt to protect her... ...

Our dear picture of happiness... lay hurt and destroyed... but the spirit of good times lingered around it...... like a living world of hopeful dreams

I knew you would come by

When I went to bed last night.. 
I wished I could meet you this morning

Cuz I was missing you so badly ..

I somewhow knew you would come by this morning

for the first time after soo many days 
I woke up with a smile..

I wasn't expecting you soo early..
never thought you would kiss me awake to a new day..

Leaving me in a state of trance with that comforting hug of yours..

With my eyes shut tight
 I lost myself to the beauty of that moment..

the relaxing scent of wet mud... 

The cool rush of moist air..

the sweet kisses from those tiny little droplets of love...

You made my day dear rain...  

Thank You!!!

P.S. The weather is too amazing .. and am too lazy to work today :P

The Fall

Like the leaves in the autumn fall

I fell to the pull of destiny

the feelings I had I can never tell

as I watched the distance grow farther away

As I lie on the ground lifeless and still

bearing the sharp and hurting prick

I lose no faith in the wind that will pass

The wind that will take me to the valley of hope

A valley full of conquered dreams

where over the river of life floats

a song of love n care and hope  

I hope to come to life again 

Sweet Dreamz

You spoiled my sleep and don't you even dare to think I'll let you snore your way to glory... UP!! WAKE UP N TALK TO ME

He rolled over and looked up... NOOOOO plzzzzzzz.. am soo sooo sleepy... plz plz plzzz

NO WAY! you spoiled my sleep and I WILL see to it that you stay awake with me... EVEN IF I DON"T SLEEP AT ALL

He sat up.. frowning.. she sure has to have it her way doesn't she? Ok now what?? tell me.. you want me to sing for you? or you want us to just talk till 8 in the morning.. and then get ready and move to office? anyways you are used to not having much sleep... that doesn't mean you expect me to be like you.... I need some sleep else it might spoil my day..

He stopped as the shiny pearl drops dropped down her soft cheeks, as he watched she started to sob.. Its been a week since I slept properly.. hardly 3-4 hours I sleep a day.. am unable to concentrate at work.. I get irritated the whole day; you spoiled that 3-4 hours and went off to sleep. I never disturbed you all these days but I couldn’t take it today. Every day you make me stay awake for you and when it’s time for you to sleep you just turn around and doze off. Ever tried to understand my situation and tried to help me ???

Oh ok ok I get it.. am sorry.. Now we need to find a solution to this sleep problem of yours, there's no point in crying. I wish you could fall asleep at the drop of a hat like me. Let me try putting you to sleep today, it will help...

No, It’s of no use.. the harder I try to fall asleep the lesser I get close to falling asleep.

Well, you couldn't do it alone, so let’s try it together.

No use :-(

Trust me... let’s try...

Ok...

Now listen to me.. and close your eyes... close...

ok...

do you see us together in the beach?? mmmm... can you feel the golden sands?? yes.. do you see dreams floating close by?? No.. look out..I can see them.. beautiful dreams...oh I saw but they're far away.. Daz ok.. but you can see them right?? Yes.. now lets walk up to those dreams and ask them a favor.. we’ll take help from them to get you some sleep.. they will tell you their stories and help you fall asleep... they’re too far away from us.. we won't be able to make it... trust me... now take my hands.. and lets walk.... we don't have to hurry... lets just walk .. I want to walk through the water... alright lets walk through the water then... hmm.. the waters warm isn't it.. yeah... can I hold you tight?? mmm.. so he hugged her tight held her close.. so close that he could smell her hair..he spoke as he breather her in….I love the smell of your hair.... mmm :-) ... have I ever told you how much I love your hair?? the first time I played with your hair was when we were watching Someone like you.. I don't think you even realized it.. you were soo deep into the movie... and remember?? the first time I ever tried to tie your hair.. I am yet to master the art of tying hair I guess... do I still hurt you when I try to tie your hair??   sweets??? slept?? Already??? That was quick… baby mine…

http://www.bikesportmichigan.com/editorials/0000069.shtml

Far away she was floating with her dreams with him... ….baby we'll go back in the morning… am too sleepy now… Thank you.. and yeah we made it together

Between... this is my 50th post.. Although this was done a week ago.. I never published it.. since romance is what I love to write about .. I thought of saving this for this special post :-)

Our special innings

Woah!!! wait a minute. Before all you cricket fans jump and read over I have to admit this post has nothing to do with the world cup and those of you who are looking for cricket contents.. move over boys.. this place has no posts on cricket.. not that am against cricket or something..

So lets get back to our innings...

Sorry folks quite a loong post ahead.. this must the longest one I've ever written :-)

Scene 1 : 21st Feb 2011 2:20 AM

2:20 in the morning and as expected I was floating ... in deep slumber.. at peace... moving from one dream to the other wish life was soo smooth... until I was taken back to reality by the sound of my phone. What the hell! Don’t we have the freedom to sleep peacefully at this hour?? If it is my irritating manager again am gonna wack him to death.

One look at the phone and I was puzzled; it was my apartment mate...the early to bed and early to rise kinds unlike the other crazy lady who would've been awake even at this evil hour had she been here.. I thought I was dreaming..n so as I picked up the phone.. in my dreams .. I heard Zee stammer.. and I couldn't make out anything.. I got a little puzzled and concerned and decided to go and check her in her room.

Outside my room the scene was sort of harrowing; it reminded me of a murder mystery movie I saw a few days back.. there were 2 bed sheets lying in line across the the hall.. as though it was dragged along with a maybe a body??? and the main door was left WIDE OPEN :-O

I knew something was not really alright and I didn't have the courage to walk up to her room... instead I called her up and she started blabbering again.. somewhere in between I managed to make out 'ran out... ground floor.. watchman' and finally I realized that I was ALL ALONE in the house with some murderer in the loose.. I ran for my life

I met her downstairs, there she was looking like she's just had a nightmare ... I ran upto her and asked her if there was a murderer in the house... and finally she told me that it wasn't a murdere but..a BAT ...was a BAT in her room.. the poor(scary) thing came in through her window strange and it hit the fan.. hurt itself and fell down.. the lady was too scared and ran out.. for her life.. she jumped out of her bed and ran for her life..

After a lot of convincing I finally got her to get back to our apartment, the door wide open.. bed sheet lying stretched in the hall.. God it gave me that creepy feeling again.. we slowly lurked into her room... I jumped in switched on the light and jumped back in lightning speed... then slowly.. we got inside the room n searched high n low for the bat.. and the hero was nowhere to be seen...

But poor Zee was too scared to sleep in that room on her own.. worried if the bat might again drop out of the blues onto her... so I offered her a place in my tiny room.. and finally the eventful night came to an end.. like Geet in Jab We Pet.. I prayed to God to make this night less exciting... rather boring...

Scene 2: 21st Feb 2011 8:40 PM

I never imagined God to take my prayer so seriously, the following day was the most boring one I ever had. Once I was back home, none of my apartment mates were back. Boredom kept staring at me with a smirk, I prayed to God to make the rest of the evening a little less boring or rather exciting :-) .I was flipping through the channels when I saw this vampire soap in Star One. Oh my! the guy did look like a forbidden fruit, a typical vampire feature I guess :D . So what if he's a vampire, he can't get out of the TV and bite me, hence I decided to feast my eyes on that man who looked like a blessing for the female breed :-) . The sequence of events were far too predicable, mid night... new moon.. the howls.. was I scared?? no way.. until I heard a noise in my room.. As I looked up.. something or rather someone landed PLOP on my feet...

... there it was the hairy little mass of flesh lying on my feet.. I froze as the vampire/werewolf howled in the serial... with the bat at my feet everything looked soo realistic... I tried to scream but I couldn't ...I wanted to run but I couldn't even move a finger.. slowly as my senses got back to normal I rushed out of the house... well Zee, now I really know what you went through last night I won't mention the bed sheet ever again. I threw both my slippers at the bat from outside.. just get out of my house you devil?? finally after a lot of struggle the vampire got out.. and flew away.

When Zee was back home that day, I told her, to her horror that we were in fact, sharing our room that day with the very bat fearing which she decided to share my room.
I was in splits as I narrated the story to our third apartment mate.. We personally enjoyed the 'bed sheet' part of it all...but to be honest that was one hell of an innings...




P.S. I was the third roomie.. the incident happened when I was away from home.. lucky me :-)

Hello Sunshine

Hello Sunshine,

I know you are aware of the fact that I haven't been really fond of you ever since I finished schooling.
After maybe more than a decade, I felt like being with you today. Strange, a lot of things have been changing in my life these days, so am not really surprised. Today I soo wanted to be with you. I wanted you to shine down on me..I want to look straight into your eyes and not shy away from you... go for a looong walk with you... perhaps we can walk upto the beach.. but there are no beaches in hyderabad. I might have to get back to Kerala so we can walk along the beach.. now that its not possible immediately..

I wish we could atleast walk across the street through that narrow deserted lane. Not much of noise and I usually don't see many people there.. We can stop by that small tea-shop and have a small cup of ginger tea and talk about just about anything.. or else we could walk in silence, I don't really mind doing that, am usually not a silent person but you know what?? I read somewhere that people who can communicate in silence are the one's who understand each other the most. Am not sure if I really understand you. I've avoided you for too long, I've been too selfish.

But I really wish from the bottom of my heart if you could come for a walk with me... for old times sake... cuz I really don't know why I really feel the need to be with you today.

Yours,
Sigma

Celebrating Love

He: WHAT?? What are you frowning at'?? 
She: Nothing
He: Oh come on now tell me what??
She: Oh!! Its supposed to be a surprise for you... so I can't really tell you what.
He: Ah ha!! lemme guess now.. you are confused .. bout what to gift me for valetines :-)
She: Not fair... you always guess whats running in my mind.. not done..
He: ha ha... baby I read your mind and I understand each and every move of yours.... and thats what bought us together.. and let me ask you a question.. do you really need a specific day to celebrate our love??? aren't we celebrating it each n everyday??? and do we really need a reason to exchange gifts?? and what makes you think you can gift me something better than what you already blessed me with?
eh??? :-| what special gifts did I give you?? they were all so ordinary ...


and he pulled her onto his arms and held her tight.. and then he slowly lifted her chin and cupped her tiny face in his hands and whispered 'You are the best gift I can ever ask for' .. and they kissed.....

Love is a wonderful feeling!!!  and being in love is a celebration in itself. So all you ladies and gentlemen who;s never been kissed by love... never lose an opportunity to be in love...for.... There’s no better way to bring happiness in your life!!

Wish you all a very Happy Valentines Day!!! 

Sometimes and Those times

Sometimes in life... I felt like life was sinking...

Sometimes in life...  I lost all hopes..

Sometimes in life....my best plans backfired...

Sometimes in life.... I got caught in the flood

Sometimes in life... I thought I was alone

Those times in life... I learned how to float ;-)

Those times in life... I never lost faith

Those times in life... I always had a backup plan :P

Those times in life... I always went with the flow...

Those times in life... my friends came looking for me...

 

Sometimes are frequent visitors in life... you don't have to run away or hide from them... the best way to tackle them is to treat them with Those times!!!

Friendship isn't a big thing.....

Oh my my don't get deceived by the title.. I haven't completed that yet... the saying goes..


Frienship isn't a big thing... its a million little things... Came across these lovely words on this lazy afternoon. Soon after I had a hearty conversation with the only person who understands and relates with the cranky side of me...

$halini: enikku bore adikkunnu, joli cheyyan madi aakunnnu!!!!
           also, urakkkam varunnu :P
me: same pinch :P
       am feeling exactly the same.. am bored.. lazy, in no mood to work.. and too sleepy myself...
       am controlling myself
$halini: sho.... nammude oru karyam! :P
me: lol seriosuly..
      ivarkenda lunch ine shesham power nap ine time thannaal?
      it increases the productivity
      ;-)
$halini: seriously!!!!
           perhaps they know, power nap becomes forever nap! ;)
me: lol ..
      they shd have some plan to keep that in place..
$halini: absolutely!

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis


and in our case it keeps happening each time we meet/chat/mail..


What do I tell you about this extremely special person in my life???... each time I flash back on my past... the memory that has consistently made me happy.. had been that of my school days.. and the one funny face that keeps popping up when I think of school is Shalini...

We've been friends for more than a decade .... and each time we are together... we feel brand new.. there's a special freshness around our friendship that I really can't talk much about...cuz  I really do not know why or how it feels that way...  maybe its the ease in which we relate to each other ..I mean... I've quite a few friends who needs to be acknowledged.. who needs to be told every now and then that they are special and close to my heart for them to be sure am there for them... I'm basically not a person who is really very expressive... there are very few people with whom I'm comfortable expressing myself.. strangely Shal doesn't fall in that list.. so what?? she doesn't really need to be told I love her or I'll be there for her.. even if I ignore her for months or rather years together.. it will not lead her into thinking I've totally forgotten/ignored her.. she'll presume that I'm busy and will get back asa am done with things.. but there's flaw in there.. what I really want to get rid of her?? God I will have to really convince her then... ;-) kidding shal.....

So today I would like to raise a toast for that special person in my life who needs no recognition/appreciation/expression to know how much I love her and value the special relationsip we share... the special times we've spent and the one's that are yet to come... love you shals..

3 cheers to our 'Seriyaana lose' companionship!!! >:D<
P.S : Shalini had requested me to write a poem in malayalam in fond memories of the atrocious remix peom that I wrote to bunk a unit test back in school... So be prepared to be petrified!!!

Love is immortal

He took another long leap... turned back and asked her....

You know whats the biggest problem in love??

The good guy always gets  the wrong girl...

and the good girl always gets the wrong guy..

They fall in love and the good one's get cheated.. 

and now the good guy ends up thinking all gals are frauds 

and the good girl thinks all guys are flirts...

Finally when the good girl meets the good guy, 

they avoid falling in love with each other 

and try their best to be just good friends.... 

But with time.. they realize that they are in fact very deeply in love with each other... 

and now.. since they've already been cheated, they chose to remain as friends and stops themselves from letting each other know each one's feelings.. and finally.. love dies..

She walked up to him looked up into his eyes and asked 'What happens when the good girl and good guy tell each other of their feelings???  See love remains and lives in that case!!! '

He looks away and says..... 'Well it does die then as well.. they will sacrifice love for family/career/society.. anything.. and then love dies'

Her eyes wandered. all over his face..... but love never dies ... as its immortal.... people might part ways..priorities might change... but the love ... love still remains.. somewhere deep down within you... in some corner where you wouldn't bother to look at... and one fine day you might stumble upon it.. only to realize it was still there... so much alive!!!

P.S : The beginning of the post was actually a forward message :-)

Pure

You set me ablaze.. without a warning... .

and I feel myself burning..

burning with passion..burning in love...

N that feeling!!..Oh that special feeling…

a feeling beyond comfort.. a feeling beyond pain

a feeling…so wonderful, elite and pure

for along with it burnt my feelings of hatred,

vengeance and envy…. and all such

heinous feelings residing in me

I burnt bright like the glowing sun..

and I feared so much if I would burn you out...

but this feeling Oh! this wonderful feeling

which reduced me to ash…from which

I rose… like the phoenix…..

So divine… so virgin

For I've been touched...

by a touch so pure.. so healing..

a touch that finally purified me